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6/14/2023: A day that shall live in infamy. We should have seen this coming. I called the Pentagon over three hundred times on a monthly basis since the terrible attack Al Quaeda launched, which shook the world to its core. Yes, the time my dad swore he saw an Al Quaeda running out of the...

He's never known neck pain. His wrists are not made of glass, because they don't exist. His knees can never go bad. Arthritis is an alien disease to him. All the weakest, most fragile pieces of the human body are but vestigial lumps of flesh long forgotten to Rayman. My neck currently hurts a...

Hey everyone everywhere! You know what's also everywhere? Arcades! That's right, let's all head back in time to when that statement was actually true and ponder what our first ever video game experience in the humble arcade was. Too young to have visited your local coin-op? Then, FUCK OFF...

Like the title says. I'll start. Yoshi! Like just think about that tongue game, and its face is pleasantly rounded, so it can get buried deep in those cheeks with little to no poke and prod. The only issue is of course that tongue might snag on something and rip your guts out like a pink...

Hey all, So kind of a crazy question, but could sewers be real places? Like, we've seen them all over video games ever since the original Mario Bros invented the artistic concept of a sewer (a blocky, pipey place where bad dudes run wild and need their shit stomped), and it's been expanded...

Video game characters have been getting off this whole time--at our expense--and I'm sick of pretending that it isn't happening. It's fine if all of you don't want to admit the truth, but I'm not about to sit my shit idly by and act like I don't see a wet spot spread across Axel's pants when...

So, a lot of us have seen James Wan's latest horror thing (FOR FREE!!!), and there are thoughts aplenty squirting around the web! Bloody Disgusting hailed it the best horror movie so far this year. Others have declared it a hyper-focused intentionally goofy niche masterpiece deserving of its own...

A little backstory first: I have a cat. Now here's the problem, he meows sometimes. That wouldn't be a big deal, but it's never about anything important. He's never being hunted by an apex predator or reminding me to do my taxes. It's always shit like, "Hey, chase me around the house" or "Come...