[Staff AMA - August 15] CJ Andriessen

flop

totally wholesome magical girl
Staff member
Robot
Feb 14, 2020
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Here’s the AMA thread for CJ Andriessen.

“Formerly known to the Destructoid community as It’s About To Get Gay In Here, CJ Andriessen is currently our features editor, as well as the producer and one of the co-hosts of Podtoid. CJ’s also responsible for a majority of the mobile game reviews on our site, as well as providing a sizeable portion of our handheld coverage. You can ask CJ anything and you'll probably regret that you did. Don't miss your chance to be scarred for life and become a meme on Podtoid, this one will be fun.”

Feel free to ask CJ anything when we unlock this thread on August 15 at 1PM EST.
 

CeeJay

Destructoid Staff
Staff member
Robot
Apr 26, 2020
16
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As a mobile games reviewer how do you stay sane?
I'm not going to lie, it's been tough and 2020 has not made it any easier. I said on Podtoid a few shows ago that I had had it with free-to-play mobile RPGs, even the ones I was somewhat excited about like Dragon Quest of the Stars or SINoALICE. Being stuck at home really drives home the fact these types of games are only considered acceptable in very certain situations and because I don't have an addictive personality.
But as for mobile games as a whole, you'll really find a lot of innovative ideas here and games that are worth playing. But they're the gems of the garage sale because most mobile games are crap or gross or developed to stimulate the same sensations we get from gambling. The less I stay away from those games and the more I can focus on those diamonds in the rough, the easier it is to stomach covering mobile games.
 
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ChrisMoyse

Be Kind to People
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Robot
Apr 15, 2020
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I'mma get the ball rolling with this long-ass list:

-What three Lego sets would you commission if you could use any brand?

-If you were a full time screenwriter, is there a genre or type of film you think you'd be particularly good at writing?

-What is the best episode of Frasier and why is it all the ones with Lillith?

-Did you know Bebe Neuwirth starred in All Dogs Go To Heaven presents: A Christmas Carol?

-Since moving, is there anything you really miss about central San Francisco, aside from family/friends?

-What happened to The Simpsons, really?

-I really like working with you on Podtoid. That's not a question. But I do want to know how much longer until it can just fully transition into a show about old movies?

-Finally, (let's fucking pretend we live in a normal world and not this massive current shitshow), what are your hopes/goals for yourself?
 
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CeeJay

Destructoid Staff
Staff member
Robot
Apr 26, 2020
16
20
3
I'mma get the ball rolling with this long-ass list:

-What three Lego sets would you commission if you could use any brand?

-If you were a full time screenwriter, is there a genre or type of film you think you'd be particularly good at writing?

-What is the best episode of Frasier and why is it all the ones with Lillith?

-Did you know Bebe Neuwirth starred in All Dogs Go To Heaven presents: A Christmas Carol?

-Since moving, is there anything you really miss about central San Francisco, aside from family/friends?

-What happened to The Simpsons, really?

-I really like working with you on Podtoid. That's not a question. But I do want to know how much longer until it can just fully transition into a show about old movies?

-Finally, (let's fucking pretend we live in a normal world and not this massive current shitshow), what are your hopes/goals for yourself?
1. Three LEGO sets I would commission are: Samus Aran's Gunship, a 3D recreation of the mansion from Clue/Cluedo, and mother's house from Psycho.

2. I think I would do good a comedy, like real comedy and not those drama films that have one funny character so they're called "comedies." You know, like Chocolat or The Martian.

3. The best episode of Fraiser is Ham Radio, hands down, but the best Lilith episode is Room Service where she sleeps with Niles.

4. I did not know that was even a movie.

5. It's a split between a full-fledged multiplex and the diversity of food. I used to live near five different movie theaters, so there really wasn't a movie I couldn't see no matter how small the release. Now I live in a town with a two-screen theater that only plays whatever is biggest at the moment. As for food, there were so many ethnic options there. I have great BBQ where I live, but the Chinese restaurant in town tastes like reheated frozen food, we only have one good pizza place and it's a 40-minute drive, round trip, and the only good chicken wrap is at the golf course.

6. Time happened. Old writers moved on and new writers from National Lampoon at Harvard were brought on. It became too successful for its own good. I think it really started to go downhill when more and more celebrities were brought to have the storyline for the episode revolve around them.

7. 8 more months, tops.

8. That I win this screenwriting contest I'm in the process of entering, quit my job, and become a Contributor-At-Large for Destructoid.
 
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CeeJay

Destructoid Staff
Staff member
Robot
Apr 26, 2020
16
20
3
How many LEGO products do you own?
I own six sets and four LEGO video games. I know, it's not that impressive, but I don't have a lot of space right now to display my sets. Some of them I have at my office at work and I haven't been there in weeks. I'm still kicking myself in the ass for not buying The Simpsons house and Kwik-e-Mart
 

CeeJay

Destructoid Staff
Staff member
Robot
Apr 26, 2020
16
20
3
Most amount of sandwiches you have consumed in the span of 10 minutes?

Favorite 70s film?
Eight sandwiches if we're counting those frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwichs that I think Smuckers makes. About two weeks ago I chowed the fuck down on eight of those. Fun fact, each one of those sandwiches is 220 calories...

As for my favorite film from the '70s, it's probably Blazing Saddles
 
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CeeJay

Destructoid Staff
Staff member
Robot
Apr 26, 2020
16
20
3
Only mobile game I honestly play is Fate GO. Do you have a favorite that you fall back on?
Fire Emblem Heroes was my go-to for two years or so whenever I was at work with a moment to spare. But for the past few weeks, it's been Pokemon Cafe Mix. Anytime I have to sit through a download on my PS4 I'm reaching for that game. I would like to try and get into a mobile CCG but I really haven't found one I like yet.
 

CeeJay

Destructoid Staff
Staff member
Robot
Apr 26, 2020
16
20
3
Is there anyone in the gaming industry you'd really, really like to interview?
10 years ago I would have said Miyamoto, but I no longer think that would be a good interview. I've spoken with Suda and Swery already and they've always been at the top of my list, so I guess I would say HIdeomaro Fujibayashi, who is the current director of the Legend of Zelda franchise. Or Koji Kondo so we could just talk music.
 
May 14, 2020
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Game or show with a main character and a partner character where you would actualy want them switched around?e.gProfesor Layton game but Luke is the main puzzle guy and Layton is the sidekick or something

Whats your favourite personal little detail in a game that you feel doesn't mean much to others but a lot to you?

Most frustrating tech setup you ever did for a product?

Whats your daily routine like?

How who you rank the three Chris's here in terms of their Chrisness?

Silly fear of something you had as a kid but no longer now?

Biggest food regret so far in your life?

Whats your favourite aspect of your reviews/written work here and whats your least favourite aspect about it?


Favourite type of art aesthetic used in a move,game and a show?
 

PhilKenSebben

Lord of Loss
Staff member
Robot
Apr 15, 2020
166
242
43
Cali
Did it in fact, ever get gay enough in here?

Why are you so fucking awesome?

Favorite current game?

Top Ramen or Cup O Noods?

Why arent there more nude portraits of you?
 

CeeJay

Destructoid Staff
Staff member
Robot
Apr 26, 2020
16
20
3
Game or show with a main character and a partner character where you would actualy want them switched around?e.gProfesor Layton game but Luke is the main puzzle guy and Layton is the sidekick or something

Whats your favourite personal little detail in a game that you feel doesn't mean much to others but a lot to you?

Most frustrating tech setup you ever did for a product?

Whats your daily routine like?

How who you rank the three Chris's here in terms of their Chrisness?

Silly fear of something you had as a kid but no longer now?

Biggest food regret so far in your life?

Whats your favourite aspect of your reviews/written work here and whats your least favourite aspect about it?


Favourite type of art aesthetic used in a move,game and a show?
Oh boy, these are some tough ones...

1. Wow, this is very specific. So, I like The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks probably more than I should, and that's because I love the concept of dead Zelda possessing Phantoms to solve puzzle. I would like to see a Zelda game like that with the roles reversed, where instead of playing as Link and directing ghost Zelda where to go, you play as Ghost Zelda taking charge to clear rooms for Link. Either that or let me take primary control of the blob from A Boy and His Blob.

2. I don't know if this doesn't mean a lot to other people, but I always love how the animals from the space station in Metroid Fusion find their way to your ship. They're so easy to forget about and then BOOM, they're there at the end.

3. I recently bought a new Mac Mini and it has four Thunderbolt ports and only two USB ports. I can't find any computer accessories that use Thunderbolt/USB 3.0 natively, so I have all these adapters sticking out the rear of my Mac Mini and it just looks awful.

4. Wake up, fall out of bed, drag a comb across my head. Go downstairs and drink a cup, then look up and notice I am late. Find my coat, grab my hat, make the bus in seconds flat. Head upstairs and have smoke, everyone speaks then I go into a dream. AAAAAAAAAH AAAAH AAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

5. Each Chris is special in their own way. Chris Moyse is a great confidant, friend, and writer. Chris "CJ" Andriessen is great because he knows all the lyrics to Superbass. And Chris Carter is great because his output is a constant reminder that the rest of us aren't doing enough.

6. Video game spiders. True story: The first time I played Resident Evil 2 and got to the part in the sewers where spiders attack, when I got to the part where the spiders are on the fucking screen, I threw the controller down and ran out of the room. However, I think continued exposure to video game spiders has dulled that reaction in me.

7. Going to Dennys and ordering pancakes, eggs, and buffalo chicken strips at 2:00 am.

8. Horrible question to ask me because I hate everything I've written. I like my reviews best when I don't try to sound smart and just present everything as matter-of-fact. I hate my reviews when I don't think I properly word why it is I don't like something. Like with my Spongebob review. I still believe everything I wrote in it, I just wish I had better written out the reasons I thought it was a bad remaster.

9. Classic Americana. Give me that Norman Rockwell Saturday Evening Post aesthetic and I'm in heaven.
 
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CeeJay

Destructoid Staff
Staff member
Robot
Apr 26, 2020
16
20
3
Did it in fact, ever get gay enough in here?

Why are you so fucking awesome?

Favorite current game?

Top Ramen or Cup O Noods?

Why arent there more nude portraits of you?
1. No. In fact, since we fired Jed, it's gotten considerably less gay in here. Worth it though.

2. I grew up trying my hardest to make everyone like me. It was exhausting and futile. About five years ago I stopped giving a shit, smartened up, and that's when I became awesome. So to clarify, I was an ignorant-loser-dweeb until my thirties.

3. I have close to 150 hours in New Horizons, but I don't think that's my favorite game. I guess when you say current you mean one I'm playing currently and, even though it's too complicated for its own good, I really like Warframe. Focusing on progressing through the story and doing those missions and mastering my frames is a real hoot. I'm going to take a break from it soon though and focus on my neglected FF14 account.

4. Top Ramen, but more specifically, Samyang ramen. When I do ramen I do it right. Cool it up with an egg, some kale, maybe even cook it with some little chicken or tofu chunks. I don't treat ramen like it's a college food I treat it like it's a meal.

5. Trust me, the more clothes that come off, the more horrifying I look.
 

PhilKenSebben

Lord of Loss
Staff member
Robot
Apr 15, 2020
166
242
43
Cali
1. No. In fact, since we fired Jed, it's gotten considerably less gay in here. Worth it though.

2. I grew up trying my hardest to make everyone like me. It was exhausting and futile. About five years ago I stopped giving a shit, smartened up, and that's when I became awesome. So to clarify, I was an ignorant-loser-dweeb until my thirties.

3. I have close to 150 hours in New Horizons, but I don't think that's my favorite game. I guess when you say current you mean one I'm playing currently and, even though it's too complicated for its own good, I really like Warframe. Focusing on progressing through the story and doing those missions and mastering my frames is a real hoot. I'm going to take a break from it soon though and focus on my neglected FF14 account.

4. Top Ramen, but more specifically, Samyang ramen. When I do ramen I do it right. Cool it up with an egg, some kale, maybe even cook it with some little chicken or tofu chunks. I don't treat ramen like it's a college food I treat it like it's a meal.

5. Trust me, the more clothes that come off, the more horrifying I look.
I love you CJ.
 

CeeJay

Destructoid Staff
Staff member
Robot
Apr 26, 2020
16
20
3
I`d like to ask you a profound, thought provoking question. But......I can`t think of any. So, I`ll ask you this. What`re your dancing skills like? Would you describe them as "ELECTRIFING"
Electrifying? Who am I Beyonce?! I would say I'm better than the average white guy but far worse than the average gay guy. Clearly I need to start watching more Urban Jam: Hip Hop Dance.
 
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