Any one of these horrible ideas would have me spending money the second they were announced:
-D-Toid branded lube.
-A design of Mr. Destructoid holding a chungus (shirt/poster/whatever).
-A D-Toid branded spanking paddle.
-Something something amiibo buttplugs.
-Something with Jonathan Holmes' face on it. Or just Jonathan Holmes' face. Either one works.
I'll just keep coming up with ideas if you let me.
Replace Richard (the guy with the chicken mask) with Mr. Destructoid, have it say 'Do you like playing video games?', change up the scenery a bit (and put a games console on the coffee table there), make it an homage. Or, keep the Richard mask somewhere and turn him into an 'also, cocks' reference. It's a win-win.